May is a month bursting with potential. Spring really gets in full swing, as it persuades new shoots to emerge from the ground. The world seems to really wake up and so now it’s your turn.
All those new years resolutions coming into fruition because you maintained your momentum. All that seed sowing of positive habits that have you on the road to reaching your goals…? No, not where you are? Do not worry you are not alone!
That is why I love International Coaching Week, when I give away coaching sessions or special offers to enable you to Pause your thinking. Time to tell the negative committee shut up, to Reset and be more realistic with your goal setting. So then you can Respond more effectively, in realtime, to your life.
Firstly, I am going to ask you some tricky questions, that you need to think about and answer honestly. If you aren’t honest with yourself, how are you going to change your mindset? Secondly we will wander through the mind maze of how your thinking maybe affecting your motivation. Then finally discovering some strategies that will have you back on track, running on full power, realising your true potential.
Right grab a cuppa, a pen and a piece of paper, take a nice deep breath in and let the air out and feel your body relax. Let’s go…
1. Pause to ask those tricky questions?
- What does the negative voice inside your head say, that pushes you off course?
- Who is your role model and why?
- What makes you happy?
- Which goals are more important to you? List 3 goals, one short term, one mid term say achievable in 6 months and one long term, 12 months plus.
- Who can you ask to help you realise your goals?
- What obstacles may get in your way?
- How can you deal with those obstacles?
- Where can you find the information that will help with this?
- How will you know you have reached your goals?
- What will it look like / feel like? Visualise the images, in full colour.
- When will you start?
2. Your mental barriers reset.
When our resilience is low, are minds tumble through a maze of negative thoughts, voices and emotions. The outcome of any situation, then depends on who, we have sitting on our negative committee. Do any of the following members sit on your commitee?
The Over-thinker is paralysed by thoughts, deeds and conversations from the past. Playing in an endless loop, that you are trying to make sense of and sapping your energy. Where worry limits you setting goals for the future, there is too much uncertainty, based on past events. Over-thinkers can be people pleasers, consumed by what others think and filled with self doubt.
The Perfectionist is a self critical, mood swinging individual that oscillates from one extreme to the other. Something is either right or wrong, good or bad, they are an all or nothing people. This sort of black and white thinking can leave you open to feelings of virtuous self righteousness and the at the other end of the scale, deep self loathing.
The Negative thinker is governed by their mood in any given moment. So when you reflect on a situation, your emotion in that memory moment is played; embarrassment, rejection, a past hurt. This negative filter, colours our thoughts, steals our motivation and blackouts our confidence.
The Crisis or catastrophe thinker creates anxiety and tension believing in the worse case scenario. This constant living in a future, so full of ‘what if’s’ disables us from considering plans or setting goals. Your stress levels are raised and your energy is depleted and diverted, coping with all these potential challenges.
3. Respond to your committee effectively.
You are your own CEO, your own coach and here are some top tips to handle the loudest voice;
The Over-thinker needs an allocated time to process their worries as a list. The thoughts become manageable and the mind becomes free.
The Perfectionist needs balance, guidelines to direct thinking in a helpful way, to consider all the possibilities. Using the process of critical thinking, ‘what else do I need to know?’
The Negative thinker can reframe each day with 3 things that went well. A positive habit to reflect on the day and focus on the positive.
The Crisis thinker needs to pause, focus on the breathe, notice what is going on in their head and reset. Connect with a song, a poem or a smell and distract the mind.
So good luck and remember there are no limits, only the ones we set ourselves. have a marvellous month, I’m here if you need me.